


State of Dreaming

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff with Sexual Innuendos, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21579730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ikuya has an imaginary friend who he misses now that he has grown up.
Relationships: Kirishima Ikuya/Tono Hiyori
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	1. Dimensionless

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

You were always so easy to play with, laugh with, and tell secrets to. You were always there for me when I was lonely, you were the perfect space to fill my voided heart. You were you and that's really the biggest compliment I can give, honestly.

The wonderful times we spent together felt so real and yet so ethereal. We had one of the best bonds I could have hoped for, but then you left, you left me. All by myself, I was alone without you, growing up in this strange world I call 'The Real World'. Other real people were never able to be my friend like you were, I wish I was in your world. You were truly the best, Hiyori.

Though our time together was only for so long, our bond was truly one I will never forget. It's helped me even today, in this real world I live in that you were never apart of, it heals me just thinking back on those days. Although it also pains me to know nothing really was true and nothing can be made of it today.

I could walk through you while we played. I couldn't hug you or touch you and even though you were never really physically with me, I could feel your presence, your love, your compassion... Our friendship's force was one to be reckoned with, Hiyori.

Honestly, I wish I could snap you into the real world, where I lay alone, but alas I'm an ordinary person who possesses no real powers, and you... you were a perfect image in my heart and in my brain that I created with love. All out of loneliness and for that I am thankful you were there, even if it wasn't what really happened. You were there in my heart, Hiyori.

I'm way older now but your image, your smile, your tenderness, and your voice that really wasn't there rings in my ears like a heavenly choir. All of it is still so vivid in my head and in my dreams.  
I wish you were real and here with me because I miss what we had, even if it was only pretend... Hiyori, if you can hear me... through the vacuumless dimensions of my mind, of whatever fake world you now reside in, thank you... Thank you so much, Hiyori.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰


	2. Recollection

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

"Hiyori! Come and chase me!" I yell out, laughing.

"Okay!" His soft voice spoke to me.

How can I hear something so well that wasn't there?

How can I still see someone so vividly though he was only in my mind?

How can I have felt the love and friendship we had thought it was never there?

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

"Hiyori do you like milk?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" He replied and smiled warmly to me.

"How? It's so weird?" I laugh and cringe.

He laughed and replied to my convulsion with a caring and thoughtful hug.

How could that hug be real if he's only a figment of my imagination?

How could my heart skip beats for someone who has never been in our dimension?

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

"Wanna draw with me?" I smile at Hiyori.

"I can't draw but I can watch you!" He replied and laid next to me on my bed, his non-existent body heat somehow making it way past many layers of reality.

I drew him and me doing many things together. Things I wish could really happen. Things I wish and still wish to this day... were real.

How... Just how could someone who never was beside me in reality... have such a positive impact on my life?

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰


	3. Aroma

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

Sometimes I lay in bed and think why couldn't he be real or why couldn't I just disappear. With a sigh, I look to my alarm clock, the time is irrelevant but I shouldn't be up at this hour sulking over my sad 'friendless' childhood. If Hiyori was real he'd think I'm pathetic for only having imaginary friends. If only he wasn't imaginary himself.

Hiyori was the perfect friend even if he was in my mind. After I grew up he faded like seafoam in the oceans of my mind. I really wish I could fish, maybe I could hook him again and converse with him now. Maybe he'd think I'm pathetic or maybe he'd be my friend again. Either would be fine actually, him thinking I'm pathetic would be more likely...

I cover my face in shame and just pray that the sunrise will bring me peace and quiet.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

I take on my usual morning tasks, getting up, showering, dressing and other things. Today wasn't gonna be anything special but I needed to get out of my small apartment and see my brother. His boyfriend, Nao, was coming along as well. I always feel like a third wheel but Nao seems to see himself as the third wheel, or so he tells me.

Nao tends to baby me like he's my mom or something and though I'm not so fond of it I have to admit it's kinda nice to have someone who isn't blood related that cares about me.

I have no friends and I have no real goals in my life right now. I feel depressed and even showering this morning was an absolute chore. But I guess being with Nao and Natsu-nii will help my fucked up head even for a minute, so I guess I should be grateful.

As I grabbed my hoodie I was stopped in my tracks.

_Him._

I swear I smell Hiyori, how can someone who's... you know what I must be going crazy. He's not real. He was just an imaginary friend as a kid. I'm going insane, I better just leave... I need to stop being weird.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰


	4. Desperation

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

I made my way down to the cafe to meet with Nao and my brother. Of course, I see Nao there, he's always the responsible one. Coming early or at least on time, I may be a little late but Natsu-nii is on a different plane of time and space at this point. He's always really late.

"Don't you two live together?" I ask as I sit down at the table, setting my bag beside the chair I chose.

"You already know we do, he's just coming from a class." Nao's reply was sassy but that's why I like him. He's pretty similar to me. Sassy but at least tells it like it is, with a little humor sprinkled in. I guess he's suffering internally too, no?

I sigh, typical of me at this point, and slouch over to get more comfortable. 

Why did I even agree to hang out with these two love birds if I'm just a sad sack of shit? The third wheel of something that really wasn't meant to have a third wheel. Life isn't a tricycle. It's barely even a bike. Life is more of a unicycle. You ride and die alone. I'm usually found all by myself and at this point, I'm sure it'll be that way till I die. I'm not a third wheel, I'm an entire fucking unicycle.

"Ikuya?" Nao calls to me from across the table. 

"Hm?"

"You seem spaced? Are you feeling well?" His sweet yet totally invasive questions are nothing new. I'm honest when I compare him to my own mother. I even call him mother, and he thinks it's funny.

"Yes, mother, I feel fine," I slouch more and continue to stare at the table in front of me. He just chuckles.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

I glance to my left as my brother and his boyfriend converse...

I see a taller figure, he's wearing a dark green jacket that probably costs more than my rent and has soft chestnut brown hair. The same color as Hiyori's. I wince a bit at my idiotic thoughts. I'm an adult who misses his childhood imaginary friend, how pathetic can one get? His figure is nice I guess, he seems good looking... Gay thoughts are nothing new either.

He turns around and I see he's wearing glasses and has hazel green eyes... just... like... Hiyori?

"Hiyori?" I shout out with desperation. I'm going insane probably? This isn't happening because he's not real. He's not real, he's not real, he's not... real?

The man looked over to me, shocked. He's holding a coffee and a messenger bag, again, probably also more expensive than my rent.

"Ikuya?" The man says back.

I'm shocked and utterly confused. Natsu-nii is shocked and confused as well and Nao is just smiling like he has no care in the world. Like what is happening is legit, real and normal. Nao and Natsu-nii are both unaware of the concept of Hiyori. They assume I've always just been on my own. They never knew about my imaginary friend... or is he real? What is even happening I have no clue but I have to know more. I take a breath, preparing myself for the interaction.

"Yes?" I say. I have no clue what I was supposed to say anyway. This is probably a dream and I'll wake up tomorrow soaked in tears because I have no real friends and no one really pays mind to me.

He approaches and yeah I was right, he's very attractive and really does resemble my imaginary friend. My imaginary friend? Who was completely made up... in my head... not real at all... This isn't real? I'll wake up tomorrow... for sure?

"It's been so long," His smile is dreamy, my heart skips a beat. He's really real?

This has to be a dream... What kind of state of dreaming have I entered after being in reality for so long? And how do I make sure I never leave?

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰


	5. Temperature

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

"Hey, Ikuya it's been so long!" Hiyori smiled his memorable smile. It's been engraved in my mind. His smile was so warm and it evolved to be so fucking hot. His temperature has been going up I see. Is it hot in here or is it just me?

"Uh, I- Well..." I look to my dumbfounded brother and his wife. Nao just gestures that it's okay for me to leave them behind. Not that they need me around them anyways. I gulp, grab my bag and head towards where Hiyori leads me to.

"Ikuya, you look well," Hiyori slightly shifts into me. I guess walking just beside me isn't enough he has to physically touch me as we walk... Again is it getting hot in here?

I shrug because I'm not well. I'm literally out here, talking to a figment of my imagination. You're not real, how does this even work? How am I talking to you, physically against you as we walk? How can this be real if you're not real?

"You also still look at pretty as ever," he chuckled, I glanced up at him with confusion.

"What?" Was all I could bring myself to say.

"I always thought you were cute, I may have had a little crush on you." He nudged me and I felt that... I felt that definitely. That happened and I felt it. I felt the force of his nudge... on me. That's not make-believe, not pretend, it's not fake. It was real.

Maybe I'm not dreaming? Maybe I was forced into a different parallel?

"I'm not cute," I say as I look at my feet.

He stops and I just look up at him with confusion.

"Of course you are, just look at you," He grabs my hand with his free hand. I blush, yeah... his temperature has definitely gotten higher.

☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰


	6. Askew

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

We sit down in the park that's not too far from the cafe we reunited in. The soft breaths we give off are swirling in the air, I can see the breath coming from him. He's real.

I would feel stupid for asking how he came to life in case my own mind was always playing tricks on me, was he real the whole time? I can't say for sure... But I know Natsu-nii never mentioned him, no one commented on him. No one. Only I knew about Hiyori. Yet, somehow he is real.

"I know you're confused about how I'm here," he slowly makes his way to rest his free hand on my thigh. I look at it, and then to his face. He must know what I'm thinking?

"Why do you say that," I say rather hushed, embarrassed that if I ask too many questions I'll seem dumb.

Hiyori sighs, "Because I wasn't really there to you."

I wasn't really there to you.

_I wasn't really there to you?_

Those words in that order really hurt me for some reason. My heart, my mind, my body... It's all aching. You weren't there and maybe I wasn't there to you but... It was real enough that I still long for everything to happen again.

"That kinda hurts you know?" I say simply, I just need to let him know how much I miss him and how much he's helped me.

"I know, It hurts me too," His voice cracked.

I look at him, I see his tears well up. Did I say something wrong? Did I hurt him? Oh god.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you Hiyori, I just thought I lost you forever," I say, panicked.

He looked at me with his tearful eyes and I felt my soul leave my body, his face read shocked but sincere at the same time. Did my sorrow strike his heart? I hope it did.

I'm sorry, Hiyori. I must have been a bad friend... Did I leave you? Was my perception so skewed? Was I his imaginary friend? Am I the figment?

Is reality even real? Honestly, I don't care to know right now, I just wanna be with Hiyori forever. Reality has always been a boring thing to me. The time I spent in my youth with Hiyori was amazing. I am tired of looking back with sadness and wearing cracked rose-colored glasses. I can't lose him again... I have to fight to keep him next to me, physically next to me. _He's real._

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally posted this before temp OOF fdsjkfaldsk no one saw right lmaooo


	7. Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many POV switches. You'll figure it out. ;)

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

What I am is a wish upon a shooting star that came true. Ikuya, when he was young, wished for a friend he could do everything with. I was the only thing I thought he would need, but I was wrong.

No one in his world could see me... But I became real. I left Ikuya due to my own selfishness. I thought he didn't need me anymore.

Once I left his side I had become a reality. I have been going around everywhere, homeless, lost and without anyone. I am truly alone in every sense of the word. Though people could see me once I left Ikuya's side, no one cared to get to know me as Ikuya had. Ikuya was the only one who cared...

As Ikuya grew up, as he slowly got more social with his real peers, he forgot about me more and more. It hurt. It hurt so much but I understand one has to grow up.

I believed once he grew up, one day we could meet again. I prayed and wished on every star I saw as he did that night.

Him leaving me has allowed me to grow up as well, so not all is bad. I'm thankful he made it without me, I'm grateful for the time that we played together. And even though it was only for so long and even though we parted for even longer I cannot forget him and our time with one another. He was all I needed for so long and now... here he is... in front of me.

Thank you so much Ikuya, for wishing me into this world... and thank you for finding me once more... May we never part again... I'll wish on every star to make sure that we stay connected.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

When I was 6 I wished upon a shooting star. I was so lonely, all I wanted was a friend to be by my side. To play with, to talk to, and to connect with.

My wish came true... I met this boy at a playground the next day. He was all alone playing in the sandbox, I felt he could use a friend. I approached him and the rest fell in place rather easily. It was like we were soulmates. 

No one could see him or hear him, so I assumed he was always in my mind... But maybe I was wrong? I was wrong all along and I feel shame for that. I must have been a bad friend... I'm sorry Hiyori if I hurt you or made you feel horrible. I won't let that happen. Please, stay close to me. Don't leave me ever again.

Thank you Hiyori, for existing in every plane of reality and unconsciousness. I'll wish on every star to make sure you stay with me.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

"Hey, can I play with you?" The young teal haired boy approached a boy around his age on the playground.

No one was around to validate if this boy was talking to was a real human, ghost, or a figment of his own brain. But to this young boy, he was very real. A real boy who could be his best friend.

"Uh- Sure." The hazel-eyed boy softly said as Ikuya sat next to him.

_This must be fate._

_This must be how it feels to be happy._

_This must be my new best friend._

Both thought these thoughts together, without realizing they were lifelong soulmates. They were meant to be together. Unknowing the hardships in the future. The long hiatus that will eventually crash into their paths. They played together with ignorant peace... A beautiful new friendship. A new star was born.

Hiyori... First playing in the sand, was Ikuya's wish. Hiyori was birthed from this star for Ikuya.

Ikuya... Who was so lonely he wished this boy next to him into his own reality.

Their meeting has created a new star... Just for them. A star that will burn bright for a very long time. This star will look over both of them for their time on Earth and beyond.

Hiyori knows how he became himself, he was born knowing. He was born with the vision of Ikuya in his mind. Ikuya... wishing on that star. He only knew that much though. Whatever happens next is just up to fate.

☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

Ikuya looked out his window, it was a rather nice August night but Ikuya was restless. The small boy had heard on the news there was a meteor shower that was going to peak tonight. His interest had peeked at the thought of what a meteor shower was.

"Mom, What's a meteor shower?" Ikuya looked to his mother.

She stroked his hair and replied, "It's when a bunch of stars fall from the sky."

Ikuya's face lit up brighter than a full moon. Such a concept was unbeknownst to him. He had to figure out truly, what would happen. He turned his entire body to his mother.

"People tend to wish on these falling stars for things they want to come true."

"Wish?" Ikuya replied.

"Yes, Ikuya, be careful what you wish for. It may come true. Only make a wish you truly desire and make sure it comes from your heart." She poked Ikuya's chest where his heart was. He giggled.

"My heart..." He said softly and smiled to his mother who ruffled his long locks.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

As the stars fell, Ikuya made his wish. He folded his hands tightly and bowed his head...

"I wish I had a friend so I wouldn't be so lonely."

☄☄☄☄☄☄☄☄☄☄☄


	8. Starving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flirting ahead... ;)

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

"Can I ask you something?" I say, I feel bad right now but my thoughts are racing too much. I need to ask the big question.

"Of course," He replies.

"H-how are you here?" 

"I became real after you grew up, Ikuya." 

His words shocked me, so I'm not going crazy. He is real, but now I have a billion other questions I must ask. 

I shift my eyes away from him, "How did you become real?"

"Ikuya, when you were little you made a wish on a shooting star. Your wish came true and I was brought to you through fate. I was your wish."

Hiyori words were surprising to me. Wishing on stars was something I always thought was just pure mental. I never believed the things I wished for would come true. Why would they? Why would the vast universe listen to me? A lonely nobody.

"How did you become real though?" I have to know how that works. Nothing is too surprising to me, meeting my imaginary childhood friend as an adult is weird enough... Nothing will ever surprise me ever again.

"When I was birthed from your wish and it was destiny that we stay bonded for our entire lives," He sighed and continued, "It was obvious you were gonna grow up, growing up means growing out of imaginary friends. So when you forgot about me, I started my life as a normal human."

That's very accurate and though It was inevitable, and Hiyori knew it was inevitable... I still feel bad for 'forgetting him'. Because honestly... I never forgot him. I could **NEVER** forget someone like Hiyori.

"I never forgot about you, in fact... I think about you almost every day." I glance at him, curious what his expression would read as.

His pretty face lit up with joy. Good. I would never in my life forget someone... someone so special to me. Someone who made me feel so much bliss.

"R-really?" He leaned in closer to me.

He's really cute... He said he had a crush on me... Did I have a crush on him as well? I mean, even if I didn't, maybe I have one now because he's really attractive and his demeanor is so precious.

"Of course, you were my only friend," I say, it's a sad statement but pretty true. I never really made 'friends'. Just close acquaintances.

"You mean you never made any friends?" He questioned.

I shook my head side to side, I am pathetic... tell me I'm pathetic.

"But you're so amazing." He grabbed my hand with his. Hiyori's hand is soft and warm... Am I dreaming or am I this touch starved? This is heaven.

"No, I'm pathetic."

He looked at me while scowling really hard and gripped my hand tighter, "I completely disagree, Ikuya. You're just too shy to make friends, I'm the same way! I never really made friends when I turned real. I never thought anyone could top you."

"You could top me..." I smirk.

...

...

...

_Did I just say that? Oh GOD..._

"I wish I could top you," He nudged me and winked.

Did he just flirt back? Why does this feel so natural?

I really am starved of all sorts of affection, not just touch it seems...

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰


	9. Destitute

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

I could easily make a list of all the reasons you're not pathetic, Ikuya... Probably up to 100, maybe even more than that. You're not capable of being pathetic. You're just lost, Ikuya. You're just shy and lonely... And that's okay because I won't leave you ever again... I am the same way, I am shy and lonely. We can stay together, fight together and be at peace together. This world is cruel, I know that more than anyone but with you I know we can both live life to its fullest. We are soulmates after all...

Honestly, life has been rather hard for me since Ikuya and I separated long ago. Of course, I would never in a billion years pin that on Ikuya, it's my fault for not trying to find him harder. For a long time, I felt I had to wait. 'Wait, Hiyori, don't confront him yet, don't even try.' I was critical of my feelings, of my longing... I wanted to give him time to make friends and experience new adventures.  
Did it hurt? Yes. Of course, being away from him hurt. I thought it only hurt me though... I was wrong. I'm never letting go though, not ever again.

I've been slacking on my search for him as of late due to my many insecurities. I'm always worrying... worrying about what will happen next. Worrying about the fact that maybe he wouldn't like me or fall in love with me. I don't have a home and haven't since I was with Ikuya. Alone I wander this beautiful planet on a plane of existence that Ikuya helped guide me to.

I'm homeless, I have no family, no friends... I'm lonely. I'm very much lonely.

Being alone for so long I know I may feel desperate but, it's hard. I know Ikuya was lonely and all that but he still had his family. I know his mother was very kind and his brother and he had a falling out but had just made up right before I decided to fad from him. I was glad and it was the only reason I felt the need to disappear from him. Knowing he was so distraught about Natsuya, I felt the need to stay with him.

I'm here now, Ikuya. Don't worry.

Maybe I can crash with him? Is that too pushy? I would never wanna scare him away. I don't wanna be too hasty, I don't want him to think I'm weird or even worse... that I'm taking advantage of him.

Ikuya is the kindest person in every known dimension, he doesn't deserve hurt, so it's the last thing I'd ever want to do... 

I just want to stay with him till the end of the Earth.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

"Why didn't you just come back as soon as you left?" I pondered. My self-hatred is getting the best of me. I know this is a bad question but I can't help it... Sorry, Hiyori.

"Well it was too early, I had to leave you be for a while and for the past few years I've been searching around for you here and there though,"

I nodded, past few years huh? I'm sorry I haven't been easy to find, Hiyori. I stay inside more often than not.

"W-Wanna come back to my place?" I ask, my face flushed. Hoping he will not get the wrong idea. But, please come with me, don't leave me. I'm not ready to be alone.

"Of course!" He sprung up and grabbed me, "Can you lead the way?" He smiled brighter than any star ever.

His beautiful smile.

His damn beautiful smile will end me one day.

I asked for him to stop for a second so I could tell my brother I was gonna go home, he nodded and I made my way back into the cafe and not surprisingly the happily 'married couple' were there still.

"Hey, Uh... I'm gonna go home, thanks for trying to hang out with me." I slouch over to my side a bit and smile half-heartedly.

"Have fun with your new boyfriend," My brother teased.

"Oi, Natsu-nii!! Stop, it's not like that!!" I pout and shove my hands in my pockets. My face is red, I know, is it obvious we have feelings?

"Didn't know you liked preppy nerdy guys!?" He teased once more.

"Bye, Nao, see you later," I ignore my older brother's teasing and nod my head at Nao, he smiled and shooed me away, whose side are you on Nao?

I eventually made my way back to Hiyori, He was in the very spot I left him at...

Thanks for waiting, Hiyori.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

Our mutual presence in this reality is creating peace on Earth in all honesty. The stars, the planets and everything in between, they're all aligning. Everything is where it's meant to be and harmony now exists in my clouded mind. I feel the fog clearing as I walk with him. Is this what love feels like or is it something else? A combination of things? I'm so confused but it's a nice confusion... I'm sure I'll figure things out soon.

Thank you, falling star... for making my wish come true twice. You fell to Earth long ago. My wish came true back then but was taken from me for no reason... but even though you fell long ago you delivered the world again to me years later. So, thank you very much. I won't lose him again.

I promise.

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Ikuya deadass just called Hiyori 'his world'!


	10. Supernova

✰ ☁ ☽ ☁ ✰ ☁ ☾ ☁ ✰

"I'm really excited to see your place, Ikuya" Hiyori tilted his body to face me a bit and he smiled. Hiyori's smile blinds me. It's like a supernova that went off just in front of me.

I nod my head, and soon enough we're on our way. The cold air is pretty harsh but we hold each others' hands as if everything else doesn't matter. His hand is warm, he's real, and he likes me and that's all that matters. As we walk I look up in the sky I see birds flying freely and the small number of clouds are whispy and icy. Everyone passing us is having conversations that I cannot hear because Hiyori's very presence is louder than fireworks to me. I'm happy and I have a feeling everything may work out just fine. We pass under bridges, we take small short cuts between buildings and we pass other cafes, time is warped and time is slow. We're having our own adventure, hand in hand... This is what I dream of. But I'm not in a state of dreaming. There is no make-believe-land... Just a beautiful new reality.  
We arrived at my apartment. Hurrying to grab my keys I struggled a bit, I'm really tired but I'm euphoric as well. Honestly, all I want is to sleep in his arms. But I may be too afraid to admit that to him, though. Will he know I want him?

All the lights were turned off and I own light-blocking curtains, all Hiyori could muster was 'it's so dark in here'. I just give out an inaudible nose exhale and turned on some lights. Even though today is barely over I am exhausted. So many things happened today; it's not surprising that a nap would suffice.

Barely able to move anymore I simply say, "Do you wanna nap with me?"

His face lit up once more, his eyes though, were open this time. I could see him. He could see me.

He's beautiful and I still cannot believe this isn't a fever dream. My only wish came true, thank you.

I want to hug him, I want to hold him, and I never want him to leave. But I won't admit that out loud... But if he does, I will not protest.

_Please, Hiyori... Come to bed with me?_

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	11. Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is going back a TAD, with Hiyori's thoughts when they're walking to his apartment...  
> Anyway, Hiyori is having FEELINGS™~

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As I walk with Ikuya I can't help but wonder... Will you stay with me forever? It may seem like a silly question to most, but to me, it's necessary to ask. I have lived all my life after Ikuya, lonely. I walked around all my life after knowing him, lonely. Life after Ikuya, the most beautiful person in the universe, is lonesome.

Life after Ikuya wasn't worth living but I still pressed on because of my hopes, but I found him... and now I'm actually alive again... When I wasn't real I lived life to its fullest. When I lived in this very reality, it's like I died.

So will you stay with me forever, Ikuya? Please say yes. This time we have to be together forever, we cannot part. I want to live, life without you is worse than anything else I can think of.

Ikuya has to be the one to answer my wish this time. Be with me... And stay, because I regret not finding you sooner... I don't plan on leaving.

Any falling star in the sky right now, let me be with him.

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I should elaborate, even more, I became human after I left Ikuya... there are a few reasons I didn't go back immediately. Of course, I wanted to go back to him more than anything. But many factors lead me to not. Insecurity being one of them, but of course, I also wanted Ikuya to gain experiences from his peers around him.

I couldn't have this discussion right away with Ikuya, but one day I'll tell him in greater detail why I didn't come back.

Frankly, if I were to have gone back immediately it would have disrupted his youth. Thinking his imaginary friend is real would have made him really confused and honestly I was sure he didn't want me anymore anyway. People grow up. He grew up and I was worried it would mess with him, his sanity and all of that. It was the right move not going back immediately I think but I still regret not doing so, does that make me selfish?

Growing up changes you physically, I was sure I could just come back in his life as a young adult and pretend it was the beginning. Everything is confusing, of course, nothing works how you think it should. Ikuya called for me. He recognized me and I'm still in shock. In all reality, I was meant to find him again, it's in our fate, but I never in a million years would have thought he'd be the one to call out for me. To think he forgot about me... But I was wrong.

I feel restless at this moment and I feel loved, I felt scared that he forgot about me but I was wrong... and I am happy I was wrong.

He remembered me.

Ikuya remembered me.

Ikuya said he thought about me every day...

Ikuya missed me.

Ikuya... cared about me.

Ikuya... feels the same as I do.

I feel selfish now, for leaving him. My insecurities got the best of me. I hid myself for so long away from not only him, the most important person in my life, but from literally every other person on planet Earth.

I hate being looked at, I hate being acknowledged, I hate being seen.

Because people who looked at me, people who saw me and acknowledged me... people who talked to me, they weren't Ikuya. No one could ever come close to being at his level.

Ikuya is the only person I want to be around. He's the only one I want to see me... because, he's the only one I feel I can be me around. He's my only wish.

_Please, Ikuya... Be in my reality forever?_

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	12. Confession

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Ikuya and Hiyori have the same feelings. They're mutually pining and their hearts don't want to admit it. Their thoughts are the same.  
Hold me.

Please love me.

Never leave me.

They're mutually in love but they're both afraid. Very afraid of what would come of it. They're both inexperienced in love, they're both very shy and unconfrontational. But... they're both in love with one another. All is right in the universe.

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We make our way to my bedroom and of course, my lights are off. I prefer living in the dark. Life without Hiyori is dark. It's not worth living.

"Ikuya, it's like a dungeon in here, heh." Hiyori found the light switch as he joked. Do I even have to comment on his smile again? I'm blown away every time, though.

We stood in silence for a few seconds before he spoke up, "Do you have a change of clothes, I'd hate to go in your bed in my day clothes."

"Yeah, wait here," I say as a make my way to the laundry basket full of neatly folded clean clothes in the hallway. I got too lazy to put the clothes away, what's new?

I walk back in and hand Hiyori sweats that are rather big on me so they should be hopefully fine on him since he's only slightly larger in frame than I am.

"I'll give you priv-" I spoke as I was about to exit but he started changing in front of me, "Do you have no shame?!" I yell out but laugh at the end.

"Shame in what?" Hiyori gave a hum as he finished taking his shirt off, holding it in his lap as he sat on my bed for a second. He looks at me with puppy dog eyes. I sigh and pinch the part of my nose between my eyes, he's so fucking cute. What a tease, what a shameless tease... Why have I fallen for this man harder than I ever had expected?

"Over there," I point to the hamper on the other side of the room.

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Our minds are one.

Our affection and our love is under the surface boiling... It needs an escape. A healthy clean escape. Let's talk about our feelings, let's get to know everything about each other... Let's get together and stay here forever.

Wrap your love around me like petals on a rose.

I wanna be in your arms.

We think the same, and we love the same.

Thanks for being my wish, Hiyori. I wouldn't want it any other way...

Now... Will you stay with me? Will you enjoy my presence forever? Because your presence could never bother me. Your presence is all I could ever want. I love you, Hiyori.

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I finish taking off my clothes and throw them in the hamper that Ikuya has in his room. Ikuya is hunching over covering his face with both his hands while he sits on the couch in his room, he's adorable when he's embarrassed. But I announce when I'm done and Ikuya just sighs and refuses to look at me.

His clothes are just big enough to fit, they're not too tight but it's still kinda funny how tight his sweats are in certain places.

"Ahem," I want his attention.

He finally looks at me, he's so beautiful, he's so kind for all that he's doing for me... Thank you, Ikuya.

"Yeah, I knew it'd be a tight fit, especially in certain places, but it's the biggest set I have," He stands up and tugs at the loose parts, I assume to make them stretch. How cute.

I look at him.

He looks up at me.

We stand like this for about a minute, I can't take it... I literally just... Love him...

He's... so... cute...

Wrapping my arms around him, I can't help it. I love him. I missed him for so long and his touch is all I want. It's all I need.

I kiss his lips softly and pull away moments later, "Ikuya, promise me you won't leave."

The way I am holding him I made sure my face wasn't facing his, It's resting on his shoulder. I don't want to show my face to him right at this moment. But, Ikuya... Please... promise you'll never leave me?

Ikuya, I love you...

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When Hiyori put his hands around my waist like he did, his face... his face became so loving.

I feel secure. I feel safe. I feel loved.

This is not a fever dream but it easily could be mistaken for one.

When Hiyori presses his soft lips on mine my world melts away. The cruel world that always hurt me, never let me be happy. The world that forced me to be lonely. It's gone. Hiyori's lips cure my heartache.

When Hiyori tightens his grip around my waist after our kiss and rests his head on the nook of my shoulder I begin to cry silently. These tears aren't sad tears per se. But tears that are releasing all my painful thoughts. Does Hiyori love me back? Does he care just as much? Hiyori... please... answer me, answer my questions... Do you love me? Do you care? Do you want to be with me forever? Hiyori...

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Ikuya sniffles and I pull away. I saw tears falling from his cheeks like stars falling to Earth.

I sorta panicked, "Ikuya! Are you okay?" I grab his upper arms and get closer to his face. His tearful face is actually stunning, I hate to admit it, he's a beautiful crier. I'm sure Ikuya is fine, he's strong. He's tougher than I am, that's for sure. I never really cry and boys and men are told not to, any man who defies that dumb logic of 'big boys don't cry' is automatically 10 times stronger than I am.

I don't cry to 'prove' to others that I am strong, but really I am weak for obeying that phrase. And me not showing my tears proves I am just a weakling. Ikuya has no fear in his emotions and it's actually really beautiful. Emotions are beautiful. It takes a lot to be a man and cry the way he does. You have to be soft to be strong, and I'm envious.

"Y-Yeah," He wipes his tears away with his fingers.

I softly grab his wrists as he does it, he looks at me. I look at him. His face reads as confusion, I am pretty confused too... I have no idea what my next move should be.

I've never been in love before. I've never had someone this beautiful and amazing in front of me.

"I'm just," He let out a soft sob, "Happy that you're here with me..." more sobs came through.

"Ikuya," I say, I let go of his wrists that I held gently and put one hand to his cheek to cup. Either my hand is really cold or his face is really hot.

"And I'll always be here with you," I say simply.

He looks at me with his teary eyes, I move his hair from his face and kiss his forehead and he lets out a sob once more.

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"Go get changed," Hiyori suggests, "You were tired, and crying now will only make you even more sleepy. After you change we can rest together."

I just nod and sniffle. I go to the hallway and grab sweatpants, I'm burning up there is no way I'm also gonna wear a sweatshirt. I change in my bathroom and then make my way back into my room where Hiyori is sitting on the side of my bed.

"I'm shameless? You're actually shirtless!" Hiyori laughs really loudly. I couldn't help but laugh with him.

"I'm really warm right now, I can't even see me wearing a tank top." I sit next to him.

He puts his hand on my left thigh and looks at me "You know, Ikuya,"

I hum in curiosity.

He takes a deep breath, "I'm in love with you." He smiles and looks from his hand that's on my thigh to my eyes, our gaze meets and I'm lost.

I lowkey panic and move into bed laying down. I cover my face in my pillow, I bet Hiyori is confused and shocked by my confusing actions but no one has ever been 'in love' with me. And I never thought I'd find someone with mutual feelings, I've always wanted to but the thought of interacting with other people scared me.

But, Hiyori is very different. He's just... Hiyori? It's so hard to explain why he is so different from everyone else on the planet... He's not intimidating. He's friendly and kind and really cute. I love you too, Hiyori. I have no idea how to say it back though. Sorry for being confusing.

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After I confessed to Ikuya his face got really red and he moved away from me to laid in his bed, stuffing his face in the pillow while holding onto it as his life depended on it.

It was very cute but I'm confused, does he actually not feel the same way? Was everything just being read by me wrong?

God, I'm stupid, Ikuya if I hurt your feelings please tell me. I want to make everything right. The last thing I ever want is to hurt Ikuya.

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"Ikuya?" He says, he moves himself to hover over me, I can tell he's concerned. I'm really happy and I know he's confused. Confessions aren't really something I've dealt with but I have to hide my face, I'm so embarrassed.

How do I confess back, do I just say it? That's so hard. Hiyori deserves the proper confession. He deserves the world.

I'm in love with you too, Hiyori.

"C-can you hold me," I say simply.

I swear I could hear the happiness radiating from Hiyori's entire entity without even looking at him. I moves closer.

"Can I see your face," He moves closer.

My heart skips a beat. He's still moving closer.

"N-no." I bury my face into my pillow even more. I can't let him see me. His body is touching my body.

"Awe, but you're so stunning," He sighs, "it can't be helped, though."

My entire body is hot, hotter than the sun. His body on mine felt cold. He wraps almost his entire body around me like I am a precious belonging he wants to protect.

I feel safe.

I feel secure.

I feel loved.

His breath on the back of my neck gives me chills, I shiver. He tightens his grip on me.

"Are you cold?" His voice is hushed and directed right into my ear.

I shiver once more, he's too much. I'm really needy, I can't help it...

"No, I'm actually warm but your breath is making me feel weird." I pout into my pillow even more.

He moves his hands from a fist in front of my chest to place it over my heart. I'm completely melted now.

Hiyori, I love you. I love you so much I don't even know what to do.

With all honesty, I don't know how relationships work but if we're boyfriends then I'm sure everything can fall into place.

"A-are we dating?" I ask.

"I want to, but are you okay with dating?" Hiyori lightly thrusts his entire body further into mine so he could maneuver himself to try and see my face. He pouts when he can't, "Ikuya?"

I hum again. I know what he's gonna ask. I'll allow him, I want to see him too.

"Can I see you?"

Bingo.

I feel I have no reason to decline him, he must like seeing me... I mean I like seeing him too. While sighing, I remove my face from my pillow and look to my left to see him looking at me.

He's so pretty, so kind, so charming, I'm so glad he's real... I'm so glad he's with me again.

"Hiyori," I say, I have to show I have the same feelings.

"Yes, Ikuya?" He said as he put his left hand on my shoulder, I'm falling, anywhere he touches me I lose control. But it's a good feeling... I'm so starved.

"I'm in love with you too," I look at him, his facial expression is one that could blind someone.

We awkwardly sat in this position for a minute or so until he moves me to kiss me... He's so predictable, it's funny.

Hiyori's lips are soft, his tongue is delicate, his hands on my body are caring and everything about what we're doing feels right. We embrace more and we kiss more and the world is shut off... It's only us... We don't need anyone else.

Thank you, Hiyori... for existing in this reality.

Thank you, Hiyori... for finding me again.

But most importantly:

Thank you, Hiyori... for loving me back.

I'll keep falling in love with you more and more every day... I can't wait to continue playing with you, laugh with you, and of course, tell you all my secrets.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this fic that was just twisted from a prompt generator!! lmao~  
> Sorry for any mistakes throughout everything,I'm not a professional writer... lmao


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